You and a pretty redhead are tucked away in a corner table at that impossible-to-get-into new French bistro. And lo and behold, you notice she’s laughing at your jokes, twirling her hair, and giving other crystal-clear signs she’s into you. Or is she? Problem is, it can be hard to tell sometimes whether a woman is truly interested or just going through the motions. But luckily, there are plenty of ways to tell the difference. The signs below are the real deal.
1. She touches herself up
If she’s excusing herself to the restroom between courses, it’s doubtful she has a weak bladder. Nope, more likely she’s in there freshening up her makeup or making sure her hair is in place... all for you. “If she’s into you, she’ll be concerned with how she looks,” says Alison James, author of the forthcoming Better Off Wed? “Or, if she’s at the table, she’ll be fixing her shirt or brushing her hair back, maybe checking that her bra strap isn’t showing or adjusting her necklace — the kind of stuff you do when you’re worried about your appearance.”
2. She asks about your family
“When a woman likes a guy, she doesn’t want to get to know just him,” says Jillian Straus, author of Unhooked Generation: The Truth About Why We’re Still Single. “She wants to know about his family and friends — she’s looking for clues about what life with him would be like.” Indeed, especially if you’ve been set up or are on a blind date and know very little about each other, your relationship with your family says a lot about you — and a woman interested in you won’t hesitate to probe. “I think family is very revealing about a person’s personality,” says Tina Andreadis, 35, of New York City. “If he’s close with his family, it shows that he’s probably a warm person who values relationships and who would want a family of his own. If I am not interested in him, I won’t even ask because I just don’t care.”
3. She’s attentive
Let’s put it this way: no matter how busy she is, she’s not whipping out her BlackBerry if she’s interested in what you have to say. “If she’s not checking her watch, email or cell phone, it’s just one more sign that she’s paying attention to you,” says James. “When you like a guy, you’re hanging on his every word. When you don’t, you’re distracted easily.” Same goes for any preoccupations she has with the immediate environment, whether she’s people-watching or admiring the restaurant décor or even the food. If she’s saying things like, “This restaurant is beautiful. Hey, doesn’t that girl over there look like Marisa Tomei?” she may be enjoying herself, but not necessarily because you’re there.
4. She’s touchy-feely
If you find your date engaging in a little physical contact along with witty banter, chances are you’ve made a very good impression. From tapping your knee to emphasize a point or touching your forearm to get your attention, if a woman’s attracted to you, she won’t hesitate to reach out and let you know. Megan, 35, from New York City, employs this trick with guys she finds attractive. “I pretend to steady myself when I don’t need to be steadied,” she says. “When I’m climbing onto a stool, I’ll grab onto his shoulder or leg when I clearly don’t need to,” she laughs.
5. The date lasts longer than you expected
Ask any woman desperate to wind down a date, and she’ll tell you she skips dessert or declines an after-dinner stroll. Naturally, then, if she’s having a great time and doesn’t want to see you go, she’ll gladly take the waiter’s suggestion and try the chocolate cake, or join you in the cab ride home. And if you’ve agreed to meet for coffee and after a few sips she takes you up on your offer of dinner? That’s a bright green light, my friend. “Only if I’m into the guy will I agree to go to dinner if he suggests it on a ‘meet for coffee’ date,” says Diana, a 38-year-old from Boston. “If I’m meeting a guy and I’m not into him, I’m definitely not going to agree to get food after.”
So now that you know the signs that she’s really enjoying your time together, use them! Ask her for another date, have a goodnight hug or smooch... and things should move in a most positive direction.
By Cate Mitchell
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
When Does A Boy Become A Man?
So you think you're a man? Just because you've been with a woman or you are over twenty-one? Boy, have you got a lot to learn!
I'll tell you when you cross that boundary between boy and man. It's when you take full responsibility for at least yourself (and possibly others as well). As long as you are living at home, accepting money, food, shelter, gasoline or whatever from your parents - you have no idea what it means to be a man. Not a clue.
When you get a job and work all week long, digging ditches, moving boxes, pushing shopping carts, flipping burgers or sitting at a desk, then you are beginning the movement towards growing up. When you work your heart out, your legs hurt and your arms feel like they are going to fall off, well, that's part of the picture of manhood. When you receive that $200 a week paycheck, and you have to make that amount of money pay for rent, food, electricity, gasoline, car repairs, hospital bills and everything else that comes up - then you are getting a taste of what it means to be a man.
On the day that you catch the clue that electricity costs money, and that leaving the lights burning when you leave the house is expensive, then you are slowly turning the corner to manhood. When you understand that adding an extra blanket in the winter is a good thing, then I will acknowledge that you are starting to grow up.
On the day that you are the one who has to confront the person whose car you accidentally hit, and you make all of the calls to the insurance company and file your own police report, and pull it all off so that you are not devastated financially and emotionally, I will give you a few more points towards manhood.
Men understand that if they drink, even a little, it is not wise to drive. They also understand that traffic laws are important parts of civilization and survival, and follow them even when there is not a police officer around.
When you get a flat tire or your car breaks down, and you actually take care of it yourself without calling home for help - then you've taken another step. On the day when you have a more significant problem and you solve it without whining to your parents, well, you've taken another big leap.
When you figure out that you live with other people, and they may actually be able to smell the trash in your room or see the heaps of garbage next to your bed, and you do something as controversial as cleaning up the mess without being asked and without complaint, then you have taken a big step up the ladder.
On the day you can take care of yourself when you are not feeling well, set up your own doctor appointment and pick up your own prescriptions, while still attending school or doing your job, then you have taken a gigantic step upwards. If you can do all of this without whining and trying to get sympathy, I will even salute you!
When you do decide that you need to finish school and still maintain a job, and you actually do finish your studies, you will have taken a very large step towards manhood. Any child can drop out of school - it takes a man to get through it and emerge educated. If you can do this and pay (or at least help) pay the bill yourself - well, that's more than just a small step.
You want to take a few more steps? Turn off the television and do something productive. Stop telling us there is nothing to do or whining about how bored you are. Go out and explore the world! Live life and learn about everything you can. That's what men do.
Pick up your own trash, wash your own dishes and do your own laundry. These simple things are expected of any adult human being. You are not grown up until you perform these small tasks for yourself.
And, oh yes, men pay their debts and keep their promises. Any child will ask for money, saying he is borrowing it, and never return it. Men understand that an unpaid debt is dishonorable and, in addition, know without being asked or told that all promises must be kept at all costs.
You want to begin to actually cross the line? Continue and increase your responsibility to include others.
Start getting along with your parents instead of resenting them. You need to understand that they have put on hold many of their dreams and desires to keep you fed, clothed, entertained, healthy and educated. They are working themselves, quite literally, to death - and they are doing it for you! Remember, when you were born they didn't have gray hair - they acquired much of that trying their best to bring you up in this world. Once you figure this out and act upon it, you have made one of the biggest and most important steps to manhood.
Want to take some of the final steps to manhood? Find people that you can call friends, and support them, flow power to them and help them when necessary. Do so selflessly and without desire for any return, and you will make another big step.
Ready for one of the biggest steps? Find that special someone. Romance them, live with them, learn from them and love them. Be with that person and grow to love them. Then earn their love and respect.
Want to take one of the final steps, perhaps the hardest step of all? Be part of the community. Start giving back to the world in which you live. Serve on jury duty willingly and thus learn how the justice system works. Help an old lady across the street. Give time to a charity or pick up trash on the street. Do something, anything, to give back to the city or town in which you live.
If you can do these things, boy, as I have, then you will join the ranks of men. Until that time, you are still a child.
By Richard G. Lowe Jr.
I'll tell you when you cross that boundary between boy and man. It's when you take full responsibility for at least yourself (and possibly others as well). As long as you are living at home, accepting money, food, shelter, gasoline or whatever from your parents - you have no idea what it means to be a man. Not a clue.
When you get a job and work all week long, digging ditches, moving boxes, pushing shopping carts, flipping burgers or sitting at a desk, then you are beginning the movement towards growing up. When you work your heart out, your legs hurt and your arms feel like they are going to fall off, well, that's part of the picture of manhood. When you receive that $200 a week paycheck, and you have to make that amount of money pay for rent, food, electricity, gasoline, car repairs, hospital bills and everything else that comes up - then you are getting a taste of what it means to be a man.
On the day that you catch the clue that electricity costs money, and that leaving the lights burning when you leave the house is expensive, then you are slowly turning the corner to manhood. When you understand that adding an extra blanket in the winter is a good thing, then I will acknowledge that you are starting to grow up.
On the day that you are the one who has to confront the person whose car you accidentally hit, and you make all of the calls to the insurance company and file your own police report, and pull it all off so that you are not devastated financially and emotionally, I will give you a few more points towards manhood.
Men understand that if they drink, even a little, it is not wise to drive. They also understand that traffic laws are important parts of civilization and survival, and follow them even when there is not a police officer around.
When you get a flat tire or your car breaks down, and you actually take care of it yourself without calling home for help - then you've taken another step. On the day when you have a more significant problem and you solve it without whining to your parents, well, you've taken another big leap.
When you figure out that you live with other people, and they may actually be able to smell the trash in your room or see the heaps of garbage next to your bed, and you do something as controversial as cleaning up the mess without being asked and without complaint, then you have taken a big step up the ladder.
On the day you can take care of yourself when you are not feeling well, set up your own doctor appointment and pick up your own prescriptions, while still attending school or doing your job, then you have taken a gigantic step upwards. If you can do all of this without whining and trying to get sympathy, I will even salute you!
When you do decide that you need to finish school and still maintain a job, and you actually do finish your studies, you will have taken a very large step towards manhood. Any child can drop out of school - it takes a man to get through it and emerge educated. If you can do this and pay (or at least help) pay the bill yourself - well, that's more than just a small step.
You want to take a few more steps? Turn off the television and do something productive. Stop telling us there is nothing to do or whining about how bored you are. Go out and explore the world! Live life and learn about everything you can. That's what men do.
Pick up your own trash, wash your own dishes and do your own laundry. These simple things are expected of any adult human being. You are not grown up until you perform these small tasks for yourself.
And, oh yes, men pay their debts and keep their promises. Any child will ask for money, saying he is borrowing it, and never return it. Men understand that an unpaid debt is dishonorable and, in addition, know without being asked or told that all promises must be kept at all costs.
You want to begin to actually cross the line? Continue and increase your responsibility to include others.
Start getting along with your parents instead of resenting them. You need to understand that they have put on hold many of their dreams and desires to keep you fed, clothed, entertained, healthy and educated. They are working themselves, quite literally, to death - and they are doing it for you! Remember, when you were born they didn't have gray hair - they acquired much of that trying their best to bring you up in this world. Once you figure this out and act upon it, you have made one of the biggest and most important steps to manhood.
Want to take some of the final steps to manhood? Find people that you can call friends, and support them, flow power to them and help them when necessary. Do so selflessly and without desire for any return, and you will make another big step.
Ready for one of the biggest steps? Find that special someone. Romance them, live with them, learn from them and love them. Be with that person and grow to love them. Then earn their love and respect.
Want to take one of the final steps, perhaps the hardest step of all? Be part of the community. Start giving back to the world in which you live. Serve on jury duty willingly and thus learn how the justice system works. Help an old lady across the street. Give time to a charity or pick up trash on the street. Do something, anything, to give back to the city or town in which you live.
If you can do these things, boy, as I have, then you will join the ranks of men. Until that time, you are still a child.
By Richard G. Lowe Jr.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
