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1.Аливаад өргөн цар хүрээтэй ханд
Ажлын цагаар тантай тохиолдож байгаа зүйл таны хувьд чухал ч гэлээ ёстой л амь биш,заяа биш гэдэгчлэн бүхий л амьдралыг чинь шийдчих зүйл биш.Таны амьдралын бусад хүрээнд байгаа бүхий л сайн сайхан зүйлийн талаар санаж дурсахыг хичээ
2.Аз жаргалд хүрч болно гэдгийг ухамсарла
Заримдаа хүмүүс ажлынхаа утга учир, баяр баясгалангийн эх үүсвэрийг анзүаардаггүй. “Аз жаргал” номондоо Таль Бен-Шахар бичсэнчлэн аз жаргалтай болох боломжийг бодит байдал болгон хувиргахын тулд хамгийн түрүүн ямагт сэтгэл дүүрэн байх боломж байгаа гэдгийг ухамсарла.
3. Болж буй үйл явдлыг нөгөө өнцгөөс нь хар.
Өдөр тутмын нэгэн хэвийн ажилд та ядарч байгаа бол одоо байгаа нөхцөл байдлаа ерөнхийд нь нэг харж үзээд чухам яагаад та энэ ажлыг сонгож авсан бэ гэдгээ өөрөө өөртөө сануул. Хэрвээ ерөнхий дүр зураг таныг үнэхээр туйлдуулж байвал та өөрөө хамгаас сайн хийж чаддаг тодорхой үүрэг даалгаварт л анхаарлаа хандуулахыг хичээ. Жижиг ч атугай ажлыг та амжилттай хийж гүйцэтгэн түүнээсээ авч байгаа сэтгэл ханамжийг дутуу үнэлэх хэрэггүй.
4. Аз жаргалтай хүмүүсээр өөрийгөө хүрээлүүл.
Үүний төлөө бусдын төлөө ямар нэгэн зүйл хийх хэрэгтэй байсан ч аль болох сэтгэл хангалуун байдаг хүмүүсээр өөрийгөө хүрээлүүлэхийг хичээ. Хүмүүс өөрт нь тусалж байгаад ямагт эерэг таатай ханддаг бөгөөд энэхүү эерэг эрч хүч танд ч гэсэн дамжина. Гоншигонож хилэгнэсэн хүмүүсээс аль болох хол бай. Сөрөг эрч хүч ч бас амархан халддаг юм шүү.
5. Бодит байдалтай эвлэр.
Дандаа л сөрөг үр дагварын талаар бодож шаналж байхын оронд таны амьдралд гарах өөрчлөлт ямар таатай боломж гарах вэ гэдэгт анхаарлаа хандуул.
6. Дээд зэргээр сайн ажилла.
Ажлаа дээд зэргээр сайн хийж гүйцэтгэж байна гэдгээ та мэдэж байх ахул энэ нь танд сэтгэл хангалуун байх нэгэн нөхцлийг бүрдүүлнэ. / Төлөвлөсөн ёсоор бүх зүйл яг таг гүйцэтгэгдээгүй байсан ч/ Үүрэг даалгавраа сайн биелүүлж байгаадаа өөрөөрөө бахарх.
7. Өөрийн хүч чадлыг зөв тооцоол.
Хэт ядрах, сэтгэлийн хямрал зэргээс болж байнга сэтгэл түгшүүртэй байх, амьдралдаа сэтгэл хангалуун бус байх мэдрэмж төрдөг. Спортоор хичээллэх, гэр бүлдээ анхаарал хандуулах, найз нөхөдтэйгээ уулзах, амарч алжаалаа тайлах гээд өөрт хэрэгтэй бүхий л зүйлд цаг гаргаж чадахуйцаар ажлаа зохицуул.
8. Үе үе амсхийж бай.
Хэрвээ та бүр туйлдаж гүйцсэн бол таныг ядрааж буй орчноос түр ч атугай холдох хэрэгтэй. Ганцаар гарч салхил, эсвэл ажлынхаа хүнийг аяга кофенд урь. Энэ нь таныг тайвширч. нөхцөл байдалд эрүүл ухаанаар хандах болмж олгоно.
9. Яаралтай арга хэмжээ ав.
Ажил дээр тань ямарваа нэгэн зүйл амьдарлыг тань баллахаар уршиг тарьж буй бол өөр хэн нэг нь асуудлыг шийдчих байх гэж бүү хүлээ. Өөрөө л тэр даруй асуудлыг шийдвэрлэж үгүй болго.
10. Өөрөө өөртөө үнэн ч бай.
Сонгосон ажилдаа угаасаа тохирохгүй учраас л ажил дээрээ тав тухгүй байдаг байх гэдэг бодол төрдөг үү? Хэрвээ та бидний дээр өгсөн зөвөлгөөнүүдийг даган биелүүлээд ч сэтгэл санаа тань дээрдэхгүй байгаа бол одоо ажиллаж байгаа газраа солихоос аргагүйд хүрэх нь.
1. He Has Mastered The Wink. We don't know how they learn the technique but some guys really have the Richard-Gere wink down pat. There's an art to this wink and getting it right can be tricky. It's more suave and smoky than cheeky and laughable. He's comfortable giving this signal and has the timing to the tee. Done right, this move is pure sexy. Caveat: The wink can be tricky to pull off. Practice first.
2. He Radiates Calm. It's sending shivers up our spine just thinking about how powerful a man's calm presence can be. Neurotic or hyper or frenzied is stressful, no matter how busy the man or what his excuse. But if he's got cool written all over his face and his gaze is pure steady and peaceful his sex appeal will shoot through the roof (think old-school James Dean). We women can unwillingly fall into the trap of over-worrying about things we can't control. A man who sets us at ease by reminding us how things always manage to work out in the end is absolutely hot.
3. He Takes Care Of Himself. Look, we're not saying it's a certain height or build that matters. If he keeps his body in relatively good shape this shows us he knows how to take care of himself. It also clues us in that he sets health as a priority. What's more, if he's active, working out even a few times a week, the endorphins his body is producing during gym sessions are sure to keep him in good spirits and energized. The bottom line: If he takes good care of himself he's likely to take good care of his partner (or at least help keep her motivated to do so). That's a turn-on.
4. He's Got Style. We don't want to give the wrong idea here. This is not to say he has to be one certain type of style, and that mimicking a prescribed "it" style is a surefire path to sexy (whether that's clean-cut, tattooed-up or punked-out). Not at all. Rather, what's attractive in a guy is that he has a style at all, a way of dressing that reflects in some way who he is and what he's into. A guy who wakes up hum-drum and throws the same dingy shirt and pair of jeans on every day? Not sexy. At all.
5. He Has A Manly Scent. Sounds so animalistic, we know. No man can control his natural scent, and it turns out our DNA compatibility dictates who smells good to us, anyway. But, every guy can augment his essence with a spritz (one will do just fine) of cologne. As long as it's not overdone, a man with a strong scent has the potential to drive women wild.
6. He Is Affectionate. Though we women try not to let on, affection (be it an arm around the shoulder or hand on the leg) lights us up like fireflies. Consider it your secret weapon. By affection, we do mean to include expressing your feelings through words, such as "I love you." It's amazing how many hot men fall short of sexy just for lack of articulating and showing their love. Let's put it this way: There are guys who reach out to their partner while driving, and there are guys who keep both hands on the wheel and eyes straight ahead. The lads of the former group qualify for sexy.
7. He Laughs Loud, Hard, Often. No news flash here. Comedy is highly enticing. It's worth noting though that there are different types of humor. The insecure comedy that's based on putting others down or calling them names doesn't gibe with us. But give us fun-loving, belly-jiggling jokes and laughter and you'll head straight to the top of the sexiness charts.
1.Өглөө бүр 15 минутыг тухайн өдөр хийх зүйлсийнхээ жагсаалтыг гаргахад зарцуул. Өглөөд амждаггүй бол өмнөх орой нь юу хийхээ төлөвлө. Тэгвэл та ажлаа тайван хийх бөгөөд бүхнийг хийх гэж сандрахгүй болно.
2.Үг нисэн одож, цаас үлддэг. Тиймээс хийх ёстой зүйлс болон толгойдоо орсон шинэ санаа бүрээ цаасан дээр тэмдэглэ. Бичиж тэмдэглэх нь хийж гүйцэтгзхийн хагас гэдгийг бүү март.
3.Цаг үргэлж алхам алхмаар урагшил. Эн түрүүнд хийх зүйлсээ тодорхойлон амьдралдаа хэрэгжүүл.
4.Тєлєвлєгєє, хийх ажлаа тодорхой цагт үргэлж хардаг зуршилтай бол. Таны хийх зүйлс өөрчлөгдөж болно. Ингэснээр та үнэт цагаа дэмий зүйлд зарцуулахаас зайлсхийнэ.
5.Байнга өдрийн тэмдэглэл хөтөл. Хийх ёстой зүйлээ тэмдэглээд тухайн өдөртөө хэрэгжүүлсэн зүйлийнхээ ард тэмдэг тавь.
6.Ажлынхаа газарт буй анхаарал сарниулах зүйлээс хол бай. Ширээ тань цонхны дэргэд байрласнаас болоод өдөр бүр цагдаа, жолооч нарын хоорондох маргааныг харж цагаа хэрэггүй зүйлд үрнэ. Эсвэл хэрэгтэй хэрэггүй зүйл ярьжтаныг үймүүлдэг, ажилдаа анхаарлаа хандуулахад тань саад болдог ажлын найздаа анхааруулж, үгэнд тань орохгүй бол байраа соль. Мөн ширээн дээрх ажилтай тань холбоогүй зүйлийг ав.
7.Өнөөдөр яавал би зорилгодоо илүү хурдан хөрэх вэ? Үүнийг өдөрт 10 удаа өөрөөсөө асуу.
8.Нэг дор хэд хэдэн зүйлийг амжуулдаг хүнийг дуурайх гэж оролдсоны хэрэггүй. Нэг зүйлд анхаарлаа хандуулж, түүнийгээ дуусга.
9.Өөрийнхөө гаргасан шийдвэрт итгэлтэй бай. Өөрийнхөө аргаар тухайн ажлаа илүү богино хугацаанд дуусгаж чадна гэж итгэж байвал хэрэгжүүл. Бусдын зөвлөгөөг дагах гэж цаг алдах хэрэггүй.
10.Ажилтай холбоотой өдөр тутмын төлөвлөгөө гаргадаг шигээ 7 хоногийн төлөвлөгөө зохио. Ингэснээр та 7 хоногийн эхээр зүрхшээж, нозоорохоос зайлсхийжчадна.
The relationship between money and happiness is one of the most interesting, most complicated, and most sensitive questions in the study of happiness.
Studies show, unsurprisingly, that money’s impact on happiness is greatest when you have the least amount of money.
But if you’re one of the lucky people who has enough money to cover the basics – food, shelter, even a car -- does that mean that money can’t make a difference to your happiness? Some happiness experts argue yes, but I think that’s…ridiculous.
The secret to using money to buy happiness is to spend money in ways that support your happiness goals.
Imagine that you have a certain amount of extra cash. How should you spend it?
One option: a fancy new TV set. Enticing. The fact is, however, that the new TV won’t give you much happiness bang for your buck. The hedonic treadmill describes our tendency to adapt quickly to changed circumstances -- which means you’ll get a big kick out of the TV for a short while, but you’ll soon take it for granted.
The hedonic treadmill means that buying STUFF isn’t very satisfying, but there are ways to spend money that are likely to help give you enduring happiness. Spend money to…
1. Strengthen bonds with family and friends. Studies show that having close relationships is one of the most important elements of a happy life. Pay for a plane ticket to visit your brother’s new baby, go to your college reunion, throw a Superbowl party.
2. End marital conflict. If you’re constantly arguing about the unkempt lawn, or the moldering laundry, see if you can throw some money at the problem. Can you hire the teenager down the street to clean out the garage?
3. Upgrade your exercise. Studies show that one of the quickest and surest ways to boost your mood is to exercise. If spending money on a new iPod, a more convenient gym, or a new pair of yoga pants will make it easier to get yourself off the couch, that's a good happiness investment.
4. Think about fun. Ask yourself – and be honest – what’s fun for you? Fishing, bird-watching, travel, hunting through flea markets, experimenting in the kitchen, skiing, scrapbooking? Make sure that your calendar reflects some activities that you are doing just for FUN. For happiness, you’re better off using your money to have a great experience than to gain a possession.
5. Serenity and security. Peace of mind is critical to happiness, so use the money to pay down your debts or to add to your savings.
6. Pay more for healthy food. It’s a sad fact that fruits, vegetables, and healthy food are more expensive than fast food, but eating healthfully will pay off in the long run, in terms of your good health and energy.
7. Spend the money on someone else. One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make someone else happy. Think about ways you could spend the money that would make a big difference to someone else -- whether someone you know, or a cause you support. How many new books could the library's children's room add to the shelves?
8. Think about YOUR priorities. Two years ago, some friends decided to skip an anniversary trip so they could use the money to buy a super-expensive Dux bed. I thought this was a bad idea, because the “hedonic treadmill” would mean that they’d quickly get used to the new bed. Oh, no. They still rave about their Dux bed. So maybe that fancy new TV set would mean a lot to you, although I, for one, would hardly notice the difference. As always, the key to any happiness question is to know yourself, and what makes YOU happy.
By Gretchen Rubin.
Түүнчлэн доорх аргуудыг туршиж үзээд түүний зүрх сэтгэлийг эзэмдээрэй.
1. Зөв орчинг бүрдүүл …
Дуу чимээ, хүн ихтэй, анхаарал сарних газраас холд. Харин зөөлөн хөгжим эгшиглэсэн намуухан газар оройн хоол идээрэй.
2. Итгэлтэй байдал ихийг бүтээнэ …
Өөртөө итгэлтэй эмэгтэй бол олон эрчүүдийн мөрөөдлийн эмэгтэй байдаг. Биеийн хэл чинь эерэг байх ёстой. Харин битгий хэтрүүлчээрэй.
3. Харц тулгар …
НҮД бол зүрх сэтгэлийг өгүүлж, сэтгэл рүү орох хаалга болдог. Байнга харц тулгарах чухал ч гэхдээ битгий ширтээрэй.
4. Халдаж боломгүй мэт бай …
Үргэлж түүн рүү анхаарал тавих хэрэггүй. Бас хүйтэн хөндий байсаар тэр чамайг сонирхохоо болихоос ч анхаараарай.
5. Түүнийг солиоруулмаар дүр төрхийг бүрдүүл …
Сайхан хувцаслаж, нүүрээ буд. Чиний дур татмаар зүйлүүд болох нүд, хүзүү, уруулаа илүү тодотго. Хэрэв чи өөрийгөө толинд хараад гайхалтай байна гэж үзвэл хийх ёстой үүргийнхээ хагасыг биелүүлсэн гэсэн үг!
6. Дууныхаа өнгийг өөрчил …
Түүний чихэнд аяархнаар дууныхаа өнгийг өөрчлөөд ямар нэгэн юм шивнэ. Тэр чамд дурлах болно.
7. Айлгүйт …
Чи түүнд маш олон аргаар айлгүйтэж чадна. Нүдээрээ цавчлан эмзэг, халдмааргүй харагд. Хөгжилтэй зүйл ярингаа түүний мөр, бугуйнд хөнгөхнөөр хүр. Ярьж байхдаа үргэлж толгой дохихын оронд өөрийн үзэл бодлоо илэрхийлж бай гэх мэт.
8. Сайхан үнэртэй бай …
Чи сайхан үнэртэж байх ёстой. Гоё үнэртэй сүрчиг түрхээрэй, гэхдээ хурц ч биш, бас мэдэгдэхээргүй ч биш байх хэрэгтэй. Тухайн сүрчгээ биеийн дезодаранттайгаа хослуулбал илүү үр дүнтэй.
By Annie StuartHappiness can be a paradox: The more you reach for it, the more it seems to slip through your fingers. “Ask yourself if you’re happy, and you cease to be so,” says Darrin McMahon, PhD, author of Happiness: A History.
How could this be true? Could it be you’re looking for happiness in all the wrong places? Do you think happiness is what you get when you get what you want? Some say happiness is a little like falling in love, that you can’t make it happen. If that’s the case, then how can you become happier?
At the 2008 Happiness & Its Causes Conference in San Francisco, a wide range of people -- from scientists, doctors, and psychologists to artists, philosophers, and Tibetan Buddhists -- offered their thoughts on the topic. Here are a few of their tips for overcoming six common barriers to happiness.
Solution: Simplify
Schooled in Buddhist monasteries since childhood, Thupten Jinpa, PhD, knows a thing or two about the benefits of simplicity. Why do you think monks and nuns shave their heads, he asks? For one, it simplifies their lives.
A principal English translator to the Dalai Lama, Jinpa is no longer a monk. But he still holds on to some of the lifestyle's spartan values. “My family has a one-car policy,” he says, pointing out the hassles of owning more than one -- the costs, the maintenance, and the time managing the details. Multiple credit cards? They don’t create freedom or happiness, he argues -- although, these days, he might get less of an argument about that.
Modern life has elevated individual choice to the highest level, he says, but these choices come at a big price. “We often conflate quality of life with standard of life,” Jinpa says, “but after a point, the connection [between the two] disappears.”
If you simplify your life, you create more space in your day, making it possible to reflect on your life.
Solution: Take a Pause
The same culture that entangles you in a web of complexity may also have you on the constant chase, Jinpa says. “That kind of tension takes a toll on your soul and your psyche.” Whether you call it meditation, silence, or prayer, taking a “pause” just a few minutes a day can help you “recharge your batteries” and make you feel happier. A good time to do this is in the morning. Without it, your life may feel out of control.
Venerable Robina Courtin, a Buddhist nun and organizer of the Happiness & Its Causes Conference, recommends spending these minutes practicing mindful meditation. “During the day, we’re completely absorbed by our senses,” she says, “so we don’t pay attention to our minds.” Sit in a quiet place and simply anchor your mind on your breathing. When your mind wanders, bring it back to your breath. Through this process, you learn to observe what your mind is saying.
Solution: Let go
“Your prison is nothing in comparison with the inner prison of ordinary people: the prison of attachment, the prison of anger, the prison of depression, the prison of pride.” wrote Lama Zopa Rinpoche to a California prisoner, a student of the Liberation Prison Project, which offers Buddhist teachings to people in prison.
Some might view this statement as a bit of an exaggeration. But negative, compulsive thoughts do have a quality of stickiness to them, Jinpa says. How you see things and the way you experience the world are strongly linked, making it critical to adopt a positive outlook. “You interact with the world through your senses and mind,” he says. “If you can find a way to stand at the doorway of your senses, you can have a say in how you experience the world.”
In our culture, though, we take it as natural that people are angry, depressed, or dejected, Courtin says. “No wonder we get depressed -- it’s a depressing world view. It says you can’t do anything about it.” If you believe your abusive boss, father, or partner is the main cause of your suffering, for example, then you’ve tied your own hands and risk becoming imprisoned by toxic thoughts.
The Buddhist view, by contrast, is that happiness is what you get when you give up a neurotic state of mind, Courtin says. It’s empowering, she says, because knowing you can change it gives you the courage to look inside, pay attention, and take responsibility for your thoughts. Rather than judging negative thoughts, Courtin advises observing them with compassion. Then ask yourself, “What can I do about this?”
Techniques like mindful meditation can help with this, but may not be for everyone, especially those experiencing severe depression, says Philippe R. Goldin, PhD, research associate in the department of psychology at Stanford University.
But there are other simple steps you can take to counteract negativity and enhance your happiness. Practicing gratitude is one. People appear to have a certain set point for happiness, a range that’s influenced by genetics. But those who regularly practice gratitude can enhance this set point by as much as 25%, reports Robert Emmons, PhD in his book, Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier. Through his research, Emmons found that people who kept gratitude journals felt better about their lives, exercised more, and were more optimistic.
Solution: Stay hopeful
Did a parent attempt to protect you as a child by saying, “Don’t get your hopes up”? There’s no evidence that hope is hurtful, says David B. Feldman, PhD, assistant professor of counseling psychology at Santa Clara University in California. Instead, hope can greatly enhance happiness in people.
But genuine hope isn’t a yellow smiley face or the denial of death at the bedside of a loved one in hospice, says Feldman, who’s pursued research and clinical work addressing the question: “How do people maintain hope and meaning in the face of adversity?
Three components are essential for hope to thrive, Feldman says. They are having goals, as well as a plan and the motivation to achieve them. “Those who succeed don’t internalize the blame game, either internally or externally,” he says, “They ask, ‘what now?’”
In addition to reaching goals, these people perform better in sports and school, Feldman says. They have a greater tolerance for pain. They use health-promoting behaviors. They also have a lower risk for depression, anxiety, and heart disease.
Feldman advises setting personally meaningful goals and checking to see where your hope falters -- is it with the plan or the motivation? Allow yourself to daydream, he says. It’s a wonderful source of hope and, therefore, happiness.
Solution: Feel the real
Having a positive outlook doesn’t mean you never allow yourself to feel sadness. The parents who try to protect their children from dashed hopes -- or any kind of sadness -- may actually produce the opposite effect than is intended, says James R. Doty, MD, director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University. Some suffering, he says, makes you a whole person and allows you to acclimate and move forward in your life. Doty speaks from experience. He had an alcoholic father and invalid mother. He lived on public assistance for much of his youth.
“Happiness is not the absence of sadness,” says David Spiegel, MD, medical director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine. It is not a stiff upper lip or the pop psychology mantra, intoning “always stay upbeat” in the face of cancer. “Phony happiness is not good.” By suppressing sadness, you suppress other, more positive emotions, as well, he says, so people who try to suppress emotions actually become more anxious and depressed.
By finding outlets for sadness and frustration, you gain some measure of control, Spiegel says. Using others as a sounding board -- not as a toxic dumping ground -- can help convert generalized anxiety and depression into targeted feelings you can address with specific solutions.
Solution: Connect with others
How important are social networks to your happiness? Perhaps even more important than you realized. A recent 20-year study of more than 4,000 people showed that happiness is influenced not just by your immediate friends and family. The happiness of a friend of a friend of a friend -- someone you’ve never even met -- can also influence your happiness. It turns out that happiness can spread through social networks, like a virus.
Unfortunately, many people spend so much time by themselves navel gazing, they don’t benefit from this positive “contagion.”
The more self-absorbed you are, the more your world closes in, and the less realistic you become, all of which produces a vicious circle. “You become oblivious to the needs of others, and the world shrinks still more, making you less able to see outside yourself.” If asked, ‘Why are your problems so special?” says Jinpa, you might respond, “Because they’re mine!”
“If you have such a huge ego, you’re setting yourself up as a huge target, which can easily get hit,” Jinpa says. But using a “wide-angle lens” instead helps you see connections you wouldn’t otherwise see, such as the universality of suffering. All it may take is having a loved one diagnosed with a serious disease to realize how many people are grappling with similar challenges. Feeling joined by others on this journey provides some comfort and happiness.
The straightest path to making connections like these? Compassion and caring for others.
Even primates seem to understand this, says Robert M. Sapolsky, PhD, author of Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers and research associate with the Institute of Primate Research at the National Museum of Kenya. Primates that groom each other after a stressful event experience a reduction in blood pressure. The clincher? Grooming others has a greater impact than getting groomed, says Sapolsky.
Compassion engages us with others, removes isolation, builds resilience, and leads to deep fulfillment, says Doty. “Without compassion, happiness is simply short-lived pleasure.”
Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, may have said it best: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
